Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
