So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
