I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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