I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
