dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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