bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
