At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
our cab driver is having phone sex.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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