sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I think I died a long time ago.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
