I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
