doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
