do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
