Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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