I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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