The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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