I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
