our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
