I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My feet surprised me
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
