You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
