Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize
