Don't make out with my wife yet
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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