I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
