So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
