We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
