Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
