Do vagina's smell?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
