Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
