somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
