Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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