I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
