I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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