im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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