dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
