Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
