You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
