One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
