just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
