yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
