the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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