I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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