I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
