What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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