if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
