What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
