She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
