Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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