Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
