i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
