If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
There's always time for handjobs
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
