so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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