I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
