his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
