I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
