i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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